On Friends

SG: You know, like, I'm not sure I'm, like, as good of friends with, like, my friends anymore, because like, they like partying, and, like, like having fun and like... and like, I'm like, you know? Well, I guess I, like, still like that. Never mind.

On Pregnant Women

SG: She is the ugliest woman I've ever seen. She's so fat. She's like large and in charge.
Roommate: Um... She's pregnant. It's a baby shower.

On Sexism

SG: I wouldn't want a man to know how to make a cake. That's something women should do, not men. Maybe I'm sexist.

On Oreos

SG: I hate Oreos. They are too small. Oreos should come in a stick, because then I could actually fit them in a cup.

On Yogurt

SG: Why isn't there any yogurt?

On Hieroglyphics

Roommate: He keeps on calling it "hydroglyphics" instead of "hieroglyphics".  Who are these people?
SG: Well, not everyone goes to Harvard.
Roommate: Um...

On Taking Notes

SG on the phone: So my business manager is this woman who has really long hair, but she's balding. She is scary. And she keeps asking me to take notes in meetings, but it's not like I can take notes when I don't know what's going on anyway.

On Volume

Roommate: My coffee maker needs 1 cup of coffee to work.
SG: Mine's bigger because it is 8 ounces.
Roommate: Umm. 8 ounces is 1 cup...

Follow Up To The World Cup 1

Homer's take on the correct pronunciation of Uruguay: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLVJm7QW3dA

On Shoes

SG: It's probably a bad idea to put bleach on black shoes, isn't it?
Me: Probably...
SG: Oops. Too late!

On The World Cup 2

SG: Why are the games so early? Don't they know people need sleep?
Me: Because the games are in Africa.
SG: So?
Me: Um. There's a time zone difference.

On The World Cup

Me: So, today, Uruguay beat Ghana.
SG: Oh that's how you pronounce it? I thought it was "Yur - eee - gay"

On Riding the Bus

SG: Everybody on the bus smells. This one woman had this perfume on, and it smelled like asshole, and I was choking on it. Why don't people know when they smell like asshole?

On Smart Phones

Roommate: I want a smart phone, so I can surf the internet.
SG: What's a smart phone?
Roommate: Like a BlackBerry. You have one, right?
SG: Ya, but what makes a BlackBerry smart? It's a berry.
Roommate: Um.

On Supervisors

SG: I've only had Asian supervisors before, so this one's like, different. Because she's from Russia.

On Accounting Vs. Tax

SG on the phone with a co-worker: Wait, there are hot people in your accounting class? I guess it's like only 50% of Accounting and only 10% of Tax people are hot. 

On Religion

SG Facebook profile Religious Views: Conservative.

On Her Fist Day Of Work 3

SG to Mom: There are so many hot guys in my office. Well, OK, like 3 hot guys. But still. They're accountants, which is more than I thought.

On Her First Day Of Work 2

SG to Mom: I hate it when you call me when you're eating! I can't understand what you're saying! (Puts a bite of spaghetti in her own mouth).  What were you saying?

On Her First Day Of Work

SG to Mom: My mentor is SO HOT. She's like, Russian, and has these big boobs, and a bangin' bod. She also dressed a little scandalous, but, like whatever, she's so cute.