On Friends

SG: You know, like, I'm not sure I'm, like, as good of friends with, like, my friends anymore, because like, they like partying, and, like, like having fun and like... and like, I'm like, you know? Well, I guess I, like, still like that. Never mind.

On Pregnant Women

SG: She is the ugliest woman I've ever seen. She's so fat. She's like large and in charge.
Roommate: Um... She's pregnant. It's a baby shower.

On Sexism

SG: I wouldn't want a man to know how to make a cake. That's something women should do, not men. Maybe I'm sexist.

On Oreos

SG: I hate Oreos. They are too small. Oreos should come in a stick, because then I could actually fit them in a cup.

On Yogurt

SG: Why isn't there any yogurt?

On Hieroglyphics

Roommate: He keeps on calling it "hydroglyphics" instead of "hieroglyphics".  Who are these people?
SG: Well, not everyone goes to Harvard.
Roommate: Um...

On Taking Notes

SG on the phone: So my business manager is this woman who has really long hair, but she's balding. She is scary. And she keeps asking me to take notes in meetings, but it's not like I can take notes when I don't know what's going on anyway.

On Volume

Roommate: My coffee maker needs 1 cup of coffee to work.
SG: Mine's bigger because it is 8 ounces.
Roommate: Umm. 8 ounces is 1 cup...

Follow Up To The World Cup 1

Homer's take on the correct pronunciation of Uruguay: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLVJm7QW3dA

On Shoes

SG: It's probably a bad idea to put bleach on black shoes, isn't it?
Me: Probably...
SG: Oops. Too late!

On The World Cup 2

SG: Why are the games so early? Don't they know people need sleep?
Me: Because the games are in Africa.
SG: So?
Me: Um. There's a time zone difference.

On The World Cup

Me: So, today, Uruguay beat Ghana.
SG: Oh that's how you pronounce it? I thought it was "Yur - eee - gay"